This is the first in the promise serious of me commenting on someone I saw in public. This sighting took place on Friday evening, so pardon me if I embellish here and there and miss some key characteriscs of this awful individual.
The scene:
Outside of sketchy bar, the kind of place one who has failed to find someone to "go home with" goes at 2am to find others who also have failed to find someone to "go home with." 11:00pm, Friday.
So this jag-off is standing outside of the bar wearing a flashy charcoal sport coat, slick black mock turtleneck shirt, and pants to match the coat. He is probably around 45, is suffering from excessive balding, and has a rather rotund figure without being fat. You know the type, he looks as though he isn't fit, but if you were to poke his gut you would find it solid. Very un-Homer like. His skin is shiny and it is obvious that he uses too much aftershave. If he were just a bit more full of himself he would have a diamond stud earring. He might just have one, he just didn't wear it that night. He is divorced, maybe twice. His first marriage might have been for love, but it ended when he met the biumbo who would become wife number two.
He has one child from the first marriage who is in high school (private, of course) and for what outsiders think of as a "good kid" is shockingly amoral, having done several hard drugs (speed, cocaine) and lead to at least one abortion. He also has several younger children from the second wife, who really wanted kids after she got bored going to Saks every day.
The first wife wants to think well of him, but every once and a while she realizes what a selfish prick he is; she hates the second wife. While the second wife hasn't cheated on him, he has cheated on her with several young women he works with (young associates or administrative assistants). He also has been with a handful of women while on business trips, usually women who work at the hotel or he meets at restaurants. The second wife knew this, but was content shopping her days away and serving on a few boards. Apart from this, she spends a lot of her time angling her children into a good private school other than the one attended by the first child. They have been divorced for three months. He pays substantial child support.
Free from the contraints of a marriage, this man is out on the prowl. He drives an M3 and used to drive a Porsche. He is looking for young women with leathery skin and fake blond hair (much like the second wife, without the turkey waddle and facial cracks). Standing outside of the bar, he is already drunk. He is trying to talk himself into the bar, but the bouncer (a mid-20s alternative chap with tatoos up the neck, several piercings on his face, and rather impressively shaved facial hair). The man is thinking it extremely unacceptable that this young man, who will make less in his lifetime than he made last year, isn't letting him into this bar.
He will go home alone.