The Misspent Life

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I'm a free man. On Friday I cut all my ties to The Man and took a a pay cut larger than the median income in the United States, so it is something of a mixed bag. If I came in with a bang, I went out with a whimper. Four years. For four years I toiled away in the bowels of management consulting without ever really knowing why. But on Friday that all came to an end. I gave up my computer and I gave up my corporate credit card. What hurts most is giving up the people. In the four years I have worked for The Man I made many friends. Chances are I will not stay in touch with a quarter of them. That is just the way things go and it would be folly to convince yourself otherwise.

New York

I still haven't told you anything about my trip to New York, even though there is a lot to tell. Needless to say, I have been busy lately.

A Mystery

Did you ever wonder why animal crackers are called animal crackers?  Why not animal cookies, or animal wafers? 

• They have the crispness of the cracker, but they have the sweetness of the cookie.
• They find harmony with milk but would lose their appeal if served with cheese. 
• The sexier varieties have frosting.  You would never put frosting on a cracker and still be considered serious in doing so, yet they remain crackers with all their frosting glory. 

Aaah, animal cracker.  You are such a mystery.

A Scene

Sitting at his desk, staring at the computer, Our Man thinks back on last nights events.  The same time the day before, he thought that going to a nice steak house would be a nice, quiet evening and that by not having any wine, he would feel refreshed for the rest of the week and be full strength for Wednesday night's outing.  Looking back, he had to laugh.  Sure, it was a fairly quiet evening, and he didn't have any wine, so he was able to meet his goals.  But what did he expect to feel like after eating a giant ribeye steak, several sides, a salad, and a big piece of chocolate cake?  Not like his entire meal was throwing a party in his tum.  Surely, he had never had such a food hangover in his life.

"Stupid!" he said to himself as he struggled to keep his eyes open and his head erect quietly reaching into his shirt pocket for an animal cracker.  "Yes! A bear! Oh, but it is always so hard to eat the heads off the bears, although not as tough as the bisons.  You've got to eat the heads first no matter how difficult, though."  Sometimes life teaches you good lessons.

A Word of Thanks

I have returned from New York City in one piece and with two new hats and a fatter belly.  I will share some thoughts with you later in the week on the City and the Suf concert on Sunday night (one word review: awesome).  But for now I want to say thank you to Mr. Blandings for providing content and covering for my absence and lack of blogwill.  Now that you have met, here's to him visiting more often and maybe setting up a shop of his own.  He is resigning tomorrow and from there on we will no longer be colleagues, but we will still be friends.

As it stands I am running on three hours sleep and need to go out to a heavy dinner tonight.

Mr. Blandings Talks About...Neighbors

I really like the condo I live in. We live close to the city and I walk home from work most days. There are a couple of parks near, a grocery store 2 blocks away, and some of the city’s best restaurants are 3 streets to the north. We have a friendly security staff, the building is clean, and we have a dry cleaner on the first floor. In general life is good. However, much like Misspent, I have some challenges with the neighbors. They are the nicest people – always saying hello in the hallway. But the other day I walked in the door of my condo and almost passed out from the smell of …. garlic! I think the family decided to bathe in garlic this particular night. It was so strong my nostrils started burning and I could literally taste the garlic in the air. My clothes smelled like garlic the next day at work and the bedroom was left with the smell for a couple of days.

But I don’t really mind that our neighbors like garlic – I can live with the smell most days. I am more worried about having to sell our place someday and having some nice couple walk in and think that my wife and I have a garlic farm in our place. What could turn someone off faster than being felled by the smell of garlic as a door is opened? I suppose we could ask our neighbors to not cook garlic that evening but that does not seem very neighborly of me. Maybe I can ask the condo association to draft a new amendment that occupants of the building will properly vent the smell of any particularly strong smelling foods.

I didn’t see a lot of comments about Misspent’s neighbor issues. Who are the worst neighbors you have ever had? How did you deal with it?

~~~MR. BLANDINGS~~~

Mr. Blandings Talks About...Blinds

I have now lived in my urban abode for 16 months. We still have paper blinds stuck to our windows. These are the kind of blinds that you can buy at a “Bed Bath & Beyond” type of store. They come creased and have little plastic tabs that you can use to clip them at the bottom of the window. I like the paper blinds. They keep the neighbors from looking in but also let a lot of light in. Sometimes on the weekends, when I wake up with a hangover I don’t like all the light coming in. However, I like my paper blinds because by and large it is a simple and elegant solution.

Sometimes I wonder why I need more than paper blinds. We recently ordered these “blackout” blinds that will not let any light in. They can go up AND down and have special cords to keep little kids from strangling themselves. It seems kind of fussy to me though to have this new set of blinds with so much technology. We also recently bought some panels from Ikea that slide back and forth. This is so the neighbors next door will not look at me through the door that leads to our shared balcony. Maybe I could just take my old paper blind and put it on the door instead.

Regardless, I often think I could use more simple and elegant solutions for the decorations and furniture in my life. Maybe I don’t need 5 decorative pillows on my bed. Perhaps I could do without the 3 cube shelves hanging on the wall in the room where I watch TV. Maybe the pig with the chalkboard that Mr. Misspent bought us as a wedding gift could be put away instead of lounging on the island on the center of the kitchen still sporting a menu we wrote up for a dinner we had in May. I don’t know. Sometimes the possessions seem like a little too much. But the blinds arrive next week and grad school starts soon so this will just have to wait to some other day.

~~~MR. BLANDINGS~~~

See You

It is nice that Mr. Blandings has been so kind to grace us with his thoughts because I am going away for the weekend.  Of course, I don't post anything even when I don't go away for the weekend, but now I have a valid-sounding (is that like reality-based) reason for the scarcity of wit and wisdom.  But this weekend we should have something from Mr. Blandings up.

For those of you inquiring, I am going to New York City to visit with friends but (don't tell anyone) primarily to go to the Sufjan Stevens concert on Sunday night.

Mr. Blandings Talks About...Tipping

I am fascinated by tipping. Why do I feel compelled to tip more on a late Saturday evening when our server has few tables and appears to be working on a slow night but fail to tip the housekeeping staff when I travel? After all, I sure do like coming back to a clean room every day and appreciate the service. Why should I not tip others that provide services, like the person bagging my groceries or the bus driver? They would benefit from tips for good service just as anyone would, so why is this group not viewed as “tippable”? Especially the bus driver, considering that the pizza delivery man, cab driver, or car wash attendant all receive a tip? Is there such a thing as tipping discrimination?

Even within something as standard and uniform as restaurant tipping there are numerous questions that are still left unclear.  Are we supposed to tip on the bottles of wine that we order?  Do we tip pre- or post-tax? I need some guidelines on all of this, or at least consistent guidelines since the guidelines that do exist different based on where you find them.

In general I don’t like to tip. I would prefer that service charges be built into the cost of a meal, a round of golf, or the price of a pizza. Yet I always feel like I over-tip and end up subsidizing all the bad tippers. Maybe I am gullible, but I have a hard time not tipping a waiter 20% even when I have bad service. I guess I would prefer to just not come back to a restaurant if I have bad service instead of leaving a bad tip. I just wonder if using “tips” for waitstaff is enough of an incentive for great service. What other options do we have to get great service?

Help me out here.

~~~MR. BLANDINGS~~~

For RKFDIL and Little Bertie

One of their favorites: I Love Egg