The Misspent Life

Volvo Bug Eyes

That Volvo commerical with the bug-eyed lady is really starting to get to me.  I think it is a clever concept--the idea that Volvo cars are safe and less stress-inducing than other cars and thus lead to a decrease in the need for Botox and plastic surgery, etc.  But the delivery is slow and boring and takes too much thought and reasoning to figure out that this is their point for it to be effective in a short commerical clip.  Now, I'm all for railing against the courseness of flashy, dumbed down advertising, but I don't see how this commercial is very effective.  Plus that lady just creeps me out.

Wisconsin Report

Herewith is my report of the Misspent adventures in the Northwoods.  We left on a Friday, early, so POPS could get there and open everything up and be able to deal with any maintenance issues that arise.  We left so early that I had to be rolled from bed, down the stairs, and into the back of the car.  I am not accustomed to waking before the sun reaches its zenith.  Because POPS decided to have his car come with a DVD player in the back I got to watch some DVDs.  Which ones?  I watched the recently released first season of Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist, which was one of my favorite shows on the early Comedy Central.  This was so early in that mostly-useless channel's existence that we did not get it down in Chicago on our cable system, so the only time I was able to watch it was up in the Northwoods on the giant satellite.  Fitting that I would watch it on the way up there after many years.  I also watched Ghostbusters.

Setting the Record Straight

So we have returned from the great Nothwoods and what do I find?  Chaos, utter chaos.   I need to set a few things straight as some bastard thought it would be funny to go around posting comments as me:

• MOTHER does not get drunk, nor she does not throw up off the side of boats.  She also does not watch American Idol, and if she did she would hate Taylor Hicks.  That is what she said when I showed her him singing--and "show" is the right word.
• I do not eat beef jerky.  I did have some buffalo jerky this week, though.  Also, I do not eat ho-hos.
• I also have not seen High School Musical, nor do I have any plans to.
• POPS does not drink hot chocolate.
• We do not have a "catamaran."  What do you think we are, rich east coasters?  Catamaran?  You mean pontoon boat.  We don't have one of those, either.
• POPS hates Sinatra, the whole Misspent family hates Sinatra.
• POPS does like Anne Murray, I think, and MOTHER does not. I do, however. That much I know for sure.

Bringing Back Memories

Just a few links to bring back some fond memories of the past few years.

Badger

Banana Phone

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

I Love Egg

We Are Robots (see especially Angrybot)

This is How We Do It

Friday we leave for the Misspent summer compound, so internet presence will be spotty at best, regardless of what POPS says.  But I leave on a good note.  I checked for my grades today and needless to say I am happy.  Whoo hoo!

WOW.

That is all that I can say.  Can you believe the vote count?  It is anybody's competition to win.  I can't see Elloitt's supporters going to either Katharine or Taylor en masse.  So it turns out that Taylor isn't as popular as we were led to believe.  Simply amazing.

27

Look at that number.  Twenty-seven.  Seven and twenty.  What a horridly old number.  What a waste of years.

American Idol Simulblogging

Elloitt 1
First off, Journey?  Open Arms?  It should come as no surprise that I love this song, but I agree with Simon. Elliott could have done better. Hold up, Dawg.  Randy Jackson was in Journey?

Katharine 1
Nooo! Not I Believe I Can Fly!  I know this is going to be bad.  Well, it’s not horrible.  Not good when they say that she looks good.  Go Simon!  Why is Randy so mean on Kat?  Dude, you were in Journey.  Don’t talk.  Randy, that song is not good at all.

Taylor 1
What?  They call up Springsteen (pbuh) to get him to let Taylor do a song?  C’mon, like there isn’t any song in their licensed catalog that he couldn’t sing?  I call bullshit.  I call double bullshit on the comments.  That was not fun.  That was subpar karaoke.  I call triple bullshit.

Elloitt 2

I used to see Mayor Wilder on the plane a lot when I was going to Richmond.  He travelled in very modest style.  This is more of an Elloitt song.  I wasn't blown away by the performance, but it wasn't bad.  Man,though, Randy is down on everyone but Taylor.

Katharine 2

This is a really tough song for her.  A lot of people know it.  She is on the ground again-she does well on the ground.  What is this opening?  She is taking out her ear piece, that isn't good, something is wrong.  Oh Katharine!  Do well!  This isn't a great arrangement.  That was a nice bridge.  This isn't the homerun she needs, but it was good.  What will the judges say?  Her dad is crying, he always does.  What is up with Randy's glasses.  OMG! RANDY LOVES IT!!  Paula is on crack, you can tell she is crazy.  Simon loves her.  He says it was the best of the competition?  Wow.  I don't know if I'd say that.  I love her. 

Taylor 2

Joe Cocker.  Of course.  Spazz central.  Old soul.  Man, this song is going to make me vomit in my mouth.  Did someone hit him in the balls?  He cant look at the camera.  Cry, pussy boy, cry.  Of course he has a Joe Cocker sound, he sounds just like him.   What a crocker.  The finals will be Kat and Taylor.  Taylor will win, but only because you all suck.  Simon is right that it was his best performance.  He should try not being a fricking spazz.  It might help.

Elloitt 3

Final song for Eloitt.  Starting off good.  This is the kind of song Eloitt does well.  He does do the vibratto well.  He should stop it, not that he has much chance to learn to stop it.  This is a great song for him.  He has no personality that comes across on stage, but he still has more soul than that punk ass Taylor.  Randy, that was a great song for him.  It certainly was better than Journey, although I love that song, just not enough to like it on American Idol.

Katharine 3

C'mon, baby, do me right.  GodDAMN it!  POPS just walked in the room and I totally missed the performance.  What a jerk.  Whatever, I love her.

Taylor 3

Soul Patrol can kiss my ass.  At least he doesn't have his damn harmonica.  Try a little tenderness?  Try not spazzing out.  Why do people like it when he dances?  The opening was Ok, but once he starts hopping and squatting down it isn't as good.  Randy's got a new name?  It was a hideous ending.  Simon and I know what is up.  You all can suck it with your Taylor love.

My Hero

I was a fan of Cute Overload for quite a while, but it has become very popular and like a black hole is beginning to collapse in on itself with all of the "snorggle"s, "prosh"s, and "OMG"s that are thrown around there and hundreds of comments that amount to pathetic people trying to exclaim to us that a picture of a fat hamster performed miracles that make The Risen Christ seem like a two-bit carnie shyster.  But like all fads, the cute fad has become mainstream and as such a new form has arisen in which the hipsters can find solace.  To this end, Just a Little Guy has emerged as the antithesis of CO.

While still proffering a supply of "cute," it does so without the self-reverential palaver and baby talk.  Instead the animals are presented as they are--filled with spunk and trouble.  This AWWW character can see inside the soul of even the most dander-headed and saucer-eyed of baby animals and remind us that given the chance these little guys would cut you and your mother and then take your wallet. And that they have the salty mouths of syphilitic sailors. It is, quite simply, amazing; a work of art and attitude like few others.  A true monument to our times, standing athwart our culture, serving as a beacon of truth and light.

Smith Blogging

No, not blogging about LUGs (lesbians until graduation), but blogging using lyrics by the musical act The Smiths.  This is what our friends over at Armavirumque are doing today.  Or at least are doing once.  You will recall that we here at the Misspent Life and our friend over at Inklings were Smith blogging way back.