Setting the Record Straight

So we have returned from the great Nothwoods and what do I find?  Chaos, utter chaos.   I need to set a few things straight as some bastard thought it would be funny to go around posting comments as me:

• MOTHER does not get drunk, nor she does not throw up off the side of boats.  She also does not watch American Idol, and if she did she would hate Taylor Hicks.  That is what she said when I showed her him singing--and "show" is the right word.
• I do not eat beef jerky.  I did have some buffalo jerky this week, though.  Also, I do not eat ho-hos.
• I also have not seen High School Musical, nor do I have any plans to.
• POPS does not drink hot chocolate.
• We do not have a "catamaran."  What do you think we are, rich east coasters?  Catamaran?  You mean pontoon boat.  We don't have one of those, either.
• POPS hates Sinatra, the whole Misspent family hates Sinatra.
• POPS does like Anne Murray, I think, and MOTHER does not. I do, however. That much I know for sure.

Comments

[Card to Misspent's Defense]

No. I don't believe this for a second. Why, whoever is posting this doesn't even sound like Misspent. I think the so-called "bastard" is the real Misspent. After all, Misspent would never use a word like bastard on his blog.

And who, in their right mind, is going to believe that POPS likes some talentless singer like Anne Murray but doesn't like Frank Sinatra.

And how about trying to get everyone to believe he (Misspent) hasn't seen "High School Musical"? This, supposedly, from the person who sings karaoke and laps up that saccharine Olivia Newton John puts out.

And I really like that comment about not eating beef jerky but eating buffalo jerky. Who does this guy think is the jerky around here?

No, I'm sorry but whoever posted this is really stretching the bounds of credulity. And, I feel certain, the record will be set straight once Misspent returns from Wisconsin.

(They've probably been held up fixing the dock after POPS ran the pontoon bar into it.)

One more suspicious thing: MOMS doesn't like Taylor Hicks, sure. Oh come on, whoever wrote this is trying to basically make us believe that no one in the Misspent family likes Sinatra or Hicks, but they all love Anne Murray and Olivia Newton John. I'm sorry, but there is no way an entire family could be so musically impaired.

Here's a tip: If you are going to try to pass yourself off as Misspent, you are going to have to make some attempt to sound half way reasonable. What you've written is just too bizarre. (And POPS doesn't like hot chocolate. He hates Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny, too, right?)

[Card to Misspent's Defense]

I've been thinking about this and I suspect that Blimpish posted the above. He knows just enough about Misspent to try to pull off a stunt like that. And, if I recall correctly, Misspent told me that Blimpy has the keys to his blog site and is allowed to post when Misspent is not available.

[skye]

this is too funny!

[King Taylor]

You're just going to have to let this anti-Taylor thing go. It'll eat at your insides, and all the while I'll just be getting richer and more famous while the factotum struggles with her martini-making skills.

[Skye]

Misspent in Wisconsin. Come back from Wisconsin! Some person going as "Misspent" is impersonating you and posted the patently fallacious "Setting the Record Straight" entry above.

[Card in Defense of Misspent]

Skye: Have no fear. I intend to unmask this fraudulent Misspent before he can do anymore harm to the Misspent name.

POPS, pour yourself another heaping mug of hot chocolate. MOMS, put on that American Idol CD and get your Hicks Fix. And Misspent, you just worry about getting that dock repaired, we'll take care of everything on this end.

King Taylor: Don't fall for this phoney Misspent stuff. The real Misspents have not only accepted you, they have fully embraced you. In fact, I understand (from a private e-mail) that as soon as they get home, Misspent plans on posting a picture of the whole Misspent clan standing in front of the lake wearing "Soul Patrol" buttons.

[Card]

Pardon me, that last sentence should have read: "...wearing Soul Patrol buttons and drinking cosmopolitans."

Sorry.

[King Taylor]

Misspent takes umbrage when MOTHER supports lightly talented factotum over yours truly:

http://www.wstm.com/Global/story.asp?S=4972908&nav=2aKD

[Card]

Mrs C saw King Taylor and Kat on the Today Show together yesterday. She told me that the way Katherine was looking at Taylor it was obvious there was "sexual tension" at play.

Well, I've known that for weeks. It's pretty obvious to anyone with eyes that the Factotum goes breathless over the King whenever she get near him. Guess she'll just have to get in line.

[King Taylor]

Breathless...that gives me another song idea. By the way, that line of adoring factota is mighty long. It's my completely nonspazzed demeanor and my purple velour that make their slightly talented little heads spin.